10% Braver

A friend said it to me last year, just before I was about to talk myself out of posting my first ever blog. Just be 10% braver and do it.

Ten percent. I sat with that for a bit before thinking, why not?

So I sat down to write my first ever blog post. And almost immediately the voices in my head piped up - who's going to read it? What do I actually have to say? What if it's terrible?

I posted it anyway. 

The world didn't explode, nobody told me it was rubbish (to my face, anyway), and I lived to tell the tale.

And then, when I sat down to write this month's blog, the same niggling thoughts came back. They do every time.

Self-doubt. For some of us, it’s never far away, no matter how much we've done or how long for. You'd think at some point it would get bored and leave, but it doesn't. For me, it gets quieter for a while, but then it turns the volume back up.

I think maybe it’s always there, but we can get better at doing it anyway. I say to my kids, brave isn’t not being scared, it’s feeling the fear and doing it anyway. And this is what i’m trying to do more in my life as I embrace my latest decade.

Writing this month's blog made me think of my sister, who when you make her jump (which we might do on purpose sometimes), freezes rigid. Mid-sentence, mid-step, mid-cup-of-tea, just stops, like a statue. Doesn't move. Something we all (including her) have a bit of a laugh at.

But actually, this freeze mode has been me at different stages of my career and my life.

I know what it's like to freeze, to not do the thing, just in case. And maybe, ten percent is just enough to unfreeze. The difference between frozen and moving. Not fearless. Just not the statue.

Sometimes, of course, doing nothing is the brave thing. Knowing when not to act is its own kind of ten percent. But that's a whole other post.

So, I've not lost the fear, and although i’m retraining my inner voices, they haven;t gone away. But I will keep writing and posting. Even if it’s just for me to organise my own thoughts. 

Is posting any easier? No.

Does it feel more comfortable? A little. 

The doubts are still there. I'm just learning to live with them. And I will keep reminding myself: ten percent braver today.

Some days that might be facing a pre-teen's mood swings without taking it personally. Some days it's replying to someone's post on LinkedIn, or reaching out to someone I don't know yet. Sometimes it's just not agonising for quite so long before doing the thing I was going to do anyway.

So what would your ten percent braver look like?

Maybe you'd have the conversation you've been putting off, without needing to know exactly how it ends. 

You'd send the message without softening it into something unrecognisable. 

You'd leave work behind at a reasonable time (and I mean really leave it at the door) without the guilt spiral that follows you home.

Maybe you'd say ‘I don't know’ in a room where you feel like you should. Or ‘that's not a priority right now’ and mean it.

You're already giving so much. This isn't about more. It's about small decisions - just ten percent - whatever that looks like for you.

I’d love to know what your 10% might be - if you want to reach out, please do - we can hold each other to account 🙂