What I learned about leadership from my son's socks.

(Part 4 of the Harvesting Learning Series)

Ever find yourself in a 15-minute negotiation over mismatched socks? Ever noticed how much energy we spend on things that don't really matter?

Over the last few posts, I've been exploring Renewal: why it matters (Post 1), how it looks in action (Posts 2–3), and why it's so hard to stop doing good things. This post takes those lessons beyond the school gate.

Reflection isn't just for schools. It applies to leadership and life. When we skip the pause to reflect, we end up in sock negotiations and midnight email spirals - doing things by default rather than by design. Initiatives and habits continue on autopilot, opportunities are missed, and momentum stalls.

Think about the things we do on autopilot. Just like those morning sock negotiations:

I used to spend 15 minutes every morning negotiating with my son about which socks he should wear. Sat on the floor, surrounded by socks, both of us ending up upset. Socks, for heaven's sake! Why was I doing this? Habit, routine, a sense of control, possibly, but it wasn't meaningful. Why did it matter if his T-rex sock didn't match his Bob the Builder on the left foot?

Or late at night, checking my inbox right before bed, seeing another email about students having thrown glue on the ceiling again. At 11pm? Why can't I stop myself from doing this? Honestly, there's nothing I can do at that time of night, but I lie in bed, more and more annoyed (if only they knew how sacred glue sticks are in schools!).

Whether in team conversations, end of year reviews, or personal routines, reflection creates space to ask: What's working? What's not? Why are we still doing it?

That's what the socks taught me. Not that mismatched socks are fine (though they are), but that we spend extraordinary energy on things that might not have the purpose or impact we think they do.

So I stopped. I stopped the sock negotiations. I deleted the email app from my phone. These small acts of letting go taught me what Renewal actually means - it's not about doing more reflection, it's about acting on what you learn. The socks and the emails were my harvest: clear evidence that I was spending energy on things that didn't match up with what mattered. Renewal is what happened when I finally stopped doing them.

By making Renewal a regular practice, both leaders and teams are continually learning, adapting, and moving forward with purpose. Reflection becomes not just an exercise, but the foundation for meaningful action, whether in school or at home.

Once I noticed my own sock-defending patterns, I couldn't unsee the same dynamics playing out everywhere - in teams, in organisations, in how we all work.

Where in your life or leadership could you embed a regular pause for reflection? What's your version of sock negotiations? (I'd love to hear what you think!)

But here's where it gets really hard: asking these questions isn't just about our own habits. It's about asking our teams to question theirs too.

Next up: In the next post, I'll explore why asking others "Why continue?" is even harder, and why the fear of hearing honest feedback might be holding us back.

#HarvestingLearningSeries #LeadershipDevelopment #Coaching #Renewal