What my kids taught me about feedback.
- Ruth Thornton
- Dec 1, 2025
- 2 min read
Updated: 2 days ago
(Part 6 of the Harvesting Learning Series)
The most brutal feedback I get? It's from my kids.
Sometimes the most brutal feedback I ever receive isn't from colleagues or staff…it's from my kids:
"Why is your hair SO grey?"
"You have lines on your head!"
"Nanny's macaroni doesn't taste like this!" (pulls face)
It's honest.
It's exhausting.
Unlike feedback from a staff workshop, it actually is personal 😂.
And yet, this is exactly why we should regularly seek feedback—because whether it comes from a brutally honest nine-year-old or a thoughtful colleague, it teaches us something important.
The difference?
In professional settings, we hope feedback is delivered thoughtfully—a nudge rather than a smack in the face—so we can learn and grow without feeling blindsided. Colleagues (hopefully!) have learned to deliver hard truths with a bit more finesse. Both sting sometimes, but that discomfort often signals there's something to learn—whether that's about our leadership style or our choice of macaroni recipe.
This realisation has shaped how I think about my own professional growth.
And that's exactly where I am now. I'm going to use my thoughts on Renewal in my own growth as I transition into the next step of my career as a leadership coach: reflecting on my experiences, the lessons I've learned, asking (and listening) to the hard questions, and how I want to apply them in my coaching practice.
Sharing this journey publicly is part of my own Renewal, and a reminder that reflection isn't just for schools: it's for all of us in leadership.
Going forwards, I am going to try to embed these lessons in my coaching practice and in my own leadership. Please hold me to account!
Normalise discomfort: Accept that feeling defensive or anxious is natural. Label it, sit with it, and don't let it stop you from hearing what's real.
Separate intent from impact: Feedback isn't about judging you, it's about how your work lands for others. This makes criticism a tool, not a verdict. (I will have to work harder at this one I think!)
Use structured reflection: Ask targeted questions like, "What's working? What's not? Why are we still doing it?" This frames feedback as a joint exploration, not a personal attack.
Model curiosity over defensiveness: If you respond with genuine curiosity and gratitude, staff or clients will feel safe giving honest feedback in the future.
Closing question for reflection: What might you do next to make Renewal intentional in your team?
Interested in exploring this further? I'd love to hear about your context and what might help.